Loquacious Leland

While driving somewhere and directing him with the gps
Me: It says to turn left.
Leland: Let me see it.
Me: Don't you trust me?
Leland: Uhhh, don't make me answer that.


Leland: Do you ever think that maybe Esther is a genius baby and she can already talk but she just hasn't shown us yet?
Me: ....


Me: It's the bachelorette finale tonight!
Leland: I know, I'm so excited!


When Esther was refusing to take her nap:
Leland: It looks like we have a rebel on our hands.


While backseat driving me through a parking lot:
Leland: Are you sure you got this?
Me: Yes I'm fine.
Leland: I know how you have trouble with pillars.

Planning to make his "award winning" chili:
Leland: I don't want you to help.
Me: ok...
Leland: I just want it to be my baby.